Hoaxwagen, Smokeswagen, that’s my Volkswagen! The Sequel to the Saga…
It’s been awhile since I have given an update on the Hoaxwagen. If you have been wondering, it’s still a lemon. No doubt about it. It never ceases to amaze me how many ridiculous things can happen to one car.
Smokeswagen
Unfortunately, the Hoaxwagen became the smokeswagen shortly after I wrote the last blog about my Volkswagen. I was driving home from the grocery store, roasting in my car because it has no AC thinking about how hot it was. I pulled up to a stoplight and noticed what looked like heat waves right on the other side of my windshield. I wondered if I was imagining it because I felt like I was wandering through the Sahara Desert. I had an instinct to check my temperature gage and it was slowly climbing… “Oh no, here we go,” I thought. I sat there impatiently staring at the red light, the “heat waves”, and the temperature gage strategizing how I was going to make it home with all my groceries before the inevitable hit.
Right before the light turned red, the heat waves became billowing white steam, and I remember thinking, “This must be what they’re talking about!” I had no place to pull over and decided to drive since I was only a mile away…. Until the temperature gage reached the red zone and I knew I couldn’t drive anymore. I immediately pulled over fearing my engine would melt, into a drive through taco hut of all places.
I called my BFF’s at Volkswagen and asked for their advice about what to do. They said I could let it cool down, drive it until it overheats, then pull over and repeat the process all over until I got home. Simple enough, right? No! Have you ever tried to cool something down on pavement in the Texas Heat? It’s like blowing into an oven hoping it will drop in temperature substantially. Not a quick fix, that’s for sure.
Long story short, it literally took me about an hour to go less than a mile. I probably pulled over at least 10 times waiting for it to cool down. I called a tow truck company and asked where they suggested I take my car since the VW dealership was 40 miles away and most places don’t work on VW’s. Their response was, “Spanky’s!”
I knew immediately that the saga of the hoaxwagen was only going to continue…
Spanky’s
According to Spanky’s, the smoke wasn’t anything related to the problem with the fan or the coolant like the VW guys were talking about. Instead, my radiator blew and leaked water all over the engine causing the steam. Which ended up being a lot cheaper… however, I still don’t have AC. I guess it’s better than not having an engine!
I-35
I was driving down I-35 to pick up a friend who needed a ride to the airport. All of a sudden, my side-view mirror just up and fell off my car. I couldn’t believe it. How does a mirror just fall of a car? I’m talking, not just the mirror, but the whole thing. What am I suppose to tell the insurance company?... My car was hit on I-35… by a strong gust of wind!?
Luckily, the wire that controls how to adjust the mirror was barely hanging on. All I could hear was BAM! BAM!...BAM! from the mirror hitting the door at 70mph. Oh, and the honks and gestures of people trying to tell me that my mirror was hanging on for dear life… As if I didn’t know!? There aren’t a lot of places to pull over on I-35.
Once arriving in Austin, I picked up my friend and immediately drove to Walgreens for some Duct Tape. Of course they didn’t have any so we settled for clear packaging tape. After using about half the roll to remount my mirror, it was “fixed!” My car looked like it had a cast, but it was fixed!
Parking Garage
Parking is a nightmare on campus during the day and I felt lucky to be parked on the top level of the garage. It’s better than driving home and having to take the bus to campus. Or so I thought that infamous afternoon as I was pulling out of the parking spot.
Right when I started to move, I heard a really obnoxious sound. I had no idea what it was. I started to drive and wind down around the levels of the parking garage, and the noise didn’t go away. I realized it was my car and I pulled over in a handicap spot to investigate what the heck was going on.
Upon getting out, I walked around to the front only to discover that my bumper had fallen off and I was driving over half of it. It was being held on by two little screws. Unbelievable!
Luckily, I still had a partial roll of packaging tape in my car and I propped it up enough to get home. I had no idea what I was going to tell the insurance company… luckily they agreed to pay for the mirror and the bumper. It was like a two for one deal!
The Door
Upon picking up my car from the mechanic, it wasn’t until I got home that I realized they didn’t put my door back together properly when fixing my mirror. It’s impossible to open the door from the inside. Either someone has to walk around and physically open the door, or you have to roll down the window and awkwardly open the door from the outside. Awesome! (They said they would fix it for free but it will be a couple weeks until I can get it in).
Always keeping it classy with the hoaxwagen!